"I Don't Know How to Eat"

Those were the words I spoke aloud, standing paralyzed before the open door of the fridge. I don’t know how to eat.

As was my custom upon returning from home, anytime, from any place, I made a beeline directly to the kitchen to look for something to put in my mouth.

This time, I couldn’t find it. Nothing called to me. I thought I was hungry, but I also had an unconscious desire for something exciting, something interesting at least. But there was a problem. An obstacle. Something I’d never considered before. Something that had implications.

I don’t know how to eat.

I started to cry. It was the truth of my words that moved me. If eating — feeding myself food to keep my body operating at top capacity, to live — was something I did not know how to do…then, yeah, I had just voiced a serious thing. Put another way, at best, food is fuel. Food is life. Without food, good food, nutritious food, I cease living. It may take a while. But in the long run, if all I eat is crap, I’m gonna die. Food is life. And if I don’t know how to eat, I don’t know how to live.

Strong words, yet true for me. My steady diet of Hostess Cup Cake and Coca Cola was taking me down a road going nowhere. But in 2011, I woke up in time and found some people who taught me how to eat, how to live.

In 2012, I shot and edited this piece for The Spice House in Evanston. And here I want to make something very clear: The Spice House offers excellent products, healthy products. I was looking for a story I’d made on the subject of food, a video that could complement my writing. I almost went with Diana’s Chocolate Covered Bananas, but I’d shown that before and wanted something different. So, while clearing space on my hard drive, I saw this. Perfect!

Now what’s kind of funny is that, in my lifelong mania around food and drink, I’ve had little interest in spices. Salt, sugar and ketchup were all I needed. The rest of that stuff seemed like too much work. Too fussy. But when I met Tom and Patty Erd and learned about their wares, I found it all fascinating. (It had been about a year in food recovery for me when I shot this piece. I had largely given up sugar, flour and caffeine. What I ate now was healthy stuff, simple stuff. I didn’t feel any strong need to get into exotic spices, but I could appreciate how much fun they could provide a non addict. As for me, it’s best I avoid jazzing up my food. Eating simply has actually brought me to a place where I prefer simple foods, flavorful foods, foods that taste amazingly great with little or no spice necessary. And, yes, I still use salt. But ketchup? Not in 13 years. Incredible to me, still.)

Enjoy the experience. The Spice House is under new management now. No matter. This video, IMHO, would have fit right in with any of my TV shows back in the 90s. Thanks to Steve Jordan for shooting.